


Haunted Honeymoon

by Kymera219



Series: The Douchifer Chronicles [7]
Category: Ghost Adventures (TV), Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Dan's facepalming alot, Established Relationship, F/F, Ghost Hunters, Ghosts, Honeymoon, Lucifer watches ghost shows, M/M, Zak Bagans shirtless appreciation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:40:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23407687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kymera219/pseuds/Kymera219
Summary: Sequel to "The Angel of Dan's Apartment", Dan and Lucifer get married and decide to spend two weeks at a haunted mansion. Shenanigans ensueFor the prompt "Vacation" in the Douchifer Pride March 2020 Collection
Relationships: Azrael & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Dan Espinoza/Lucifer Morningstar
Series: The Douchifer Chronicles [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1679872
Comments: 20
Kudos: 83
Collections: Douchifer Pride March 2020





	Haunted Honeymoon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [R_Rolling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_Rolling/gifts), [FluffyGlitterPantsDragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyGlitterPantsDragon/gifts), [GlitterSkullFairy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterSkullFairy/gifts), [lostangelkira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostangelkira/gifts), [duneline](https://archiveofourown.org/users/duneline/gifts), [CMorningstar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMorningstar/gifts), [Mariamu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mariamu/gifts), [Antarctic_Echoes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctic_Echoes/gifts), [JCapasso](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JCapasso/gifts), [katya1828](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katya1828/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [lostangelkira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostangelkira/pseuds/lostangelkira) in the [Douchifer_Pride_March](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Douchifer_Pride_March) collection. 



> The house used in this story is the Lisburn Mansion. It's actually haunted and can be rented on air bnb

Dan lay on his back, watching the shadows dance across the ceiling. Lucifer was asleep, head pillowed on Dan's shoulder while his hand rested over the Detective's heart.

Dan had one hand rubbing up and down Lucifer's spine, while the other was fingering the black and gold wedding band the devil was now sporting. He smiled as he recalled the events leading up to that night.

***************

It all started with a group text from Maze. Dan, Linda, Amenadiel, Lucifer, and Ella had all received a picture of Maze and Chloe standing in front of the Colloseum in Rome. They were showing off the Silver bands on their hands with the caption of "Eloped, Bitches".

While everyone sent their congratulations (after the shock wore off, mind you), Dan started thinking.If a demon like Maze could agree to marriage, maybe the Devil could too. He already knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Lucifer (and afterlife too, even if he had to fight God himself over it). The question was, did Lucifer want him just as much?

Well, only one way to find out. He took Lucifer out to his favorite beach one night. Dan had set up a little candlelight picnic with his special enchiladas and a bottle of his boyfriend's favorite vintage wine. When they had eaten, Dan grabbed Lucifer's hands.

"Luce," Dan started nervously, "I know I'm just human, and my lifetime is pretty much a speck compared to yours. But I can't imagine spending any part of the time I have without you. I want you to always be the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. I love you, and I want to share everything I have with you, including my last name".

He pulled out a small box, and opened it to reveal a solid black band inlayed with rubies that spelled out the Enochian equivalent to 'love' (he'd have to thank Amenadiel later for drawing the symbols for him).

"Lucifer Samaël Morningstar, will you marry me?".

To Dan's immense joy and relief, Lucifer said yes, before tackling his new fiance onto the sand. They spent the rest of the night making love as the waves crashed around them.

****************

Now they were here, basking in the afterglow on their wedding night.It was a simple ceremony. Amenadiel and Charlotte officiated together, both to cover the Celestial bonding aspect and because Charlotte was a registered wedding officiant.

Most of Dan's family refused to attend, not pleased with the fact he chose to marry another man. His beloved abuela was there,though, and she was immediately taken with Lucifer, once she'd given him a stern talking to about how to treat her grandson.

"You were right, my love," Lucifer had whispered while they danced at the small reception they held at Lux. 

"About what, Luce?" Dan asked, curious. 

"Your abuela's shoe is scarier than me".

Dan chuckled at the memory and squeezed his new husband tighter. Tomorrow they'd head out on their honeymoon and the start of forever. Tonight, he was just content to snuggle into the warm embrace of his soulmate.

"I love you, baby," Dan whispered before he settled in and joined Lucifer in his slumber.

******************

Dan breathed in crisp, autumn air as they stepped out of their rental car. Lucifer had decided to rent a historic Gothic mansion in Maryland for two weeks, because of all the activities to do on a honeymoon, his husband wanted to hunt ghosts.

"Are ghosts even a real thing, Luce?".

"I don't actually know, Daniel," Lucifer said as he took their luggage out of the car, " my sister Azrael mentioned something about the occasional soul getting lost, but I've never seen one. It should prove to be terribly exciting, just like Ghost Adventures!".

"Don't you only watch that show to see Zak Bagans take his shirt off?" Dan asked.

"Darling, everyone watches that show to see Zak Bagans take his shirt off ".

**************

The inside of the house was gorgeous. Dan was particularly fond of the large shower in the master bath, which he and Lucifer made extensive use of once they unpacked their luggage. 

They were cuddled in front of the fireplace in one of the many sitting areas, when Dan decided to ask a question that had been bugging him since they got there.

"So how does a soul get forgotten?".

"Well, as you can imagine, thousands of people die simultaneously around the world," Lucifer started," my sister can't be everywhere at once, so some souls have to wait for pickup. There are times when Azrael forgets and a soul sits there for decades, if not centuries".

"Damn," Dan said, " they can't just head out on their own?".

"A great deal of them do. But many that die violently or don't even realize they're dead need guidance".

"And none of your siblings ever help Azrael?". Dan had met Lucifer's little sister and was quite indignant on her behalf.

"Apparently, Gabriel tried once, but he kept trying to pickpocket the bodies," Lucifer muttered," Bloody wanker always was a leech".

"You're family is so messed up, Babe".

Lucifer chuckled and snuggled further into Dan's lap. "That, my love, is the understatement of the century".

The moment was interrupted by a shattering sound in another part of the house.

"What was that?" Dan whispered.

"I don't know, let's go find out "

They creeped through the dark hallways, Dan following closely behind his husband. 

"I bet it's one of those ghost urchins rumored to haunt the premise,"Lucifer shivered," those are almost as terrifying as the live, sticky kind".

"You don't seem to mind Trixie that much".

"Well, that's different, Daniel," Lucifer stated," I actually like our urchin".

The warmth spreading through Dan's chest at Lucifer referring to Trixie as theirs almost drove out the fear he was experiencing.

They made into another sitting room, and saw that the chandelier on the ceiling was swinging wildly, and an antique wine cart had been tipped over, wine running everywhere.

"Oh,now that is just a crime against good liquor" Lucifer muttered. 

Shaking his head, Dan tilted to look at the chandelier. "How is something that heavy swinging like that with no wind?".

"Oh! I read that this happens in the brochure, it must be one of the ghosts. Shall we get our equipment out and investigate?".

"What equipment?" Dan asked confounded.

"The ghost hunting equipment! Can't have a proper hunt without all the tools!"

Dan followed Lucifer back to the master bedroom where he opened a large, black suitcase. In it was everything from emf meters to one of those fancy laser grids.

"Babe, we have really got to talk about your online purchases," Dan said as he eyed the items.

"Yes,yes, all in good time love. Now help me set this up?".

*****************

Dan helped Lucifer set up the grid and various night vision cameras he'd brought (seriously, when did he pack this stuff?), then insisted they get some sleep.

The next morning, Dan blearily stumbled into the large kitchen to find his Devilish husband whipping up a large breakfast. Lucifer sat down the two mugs of coffee he was holding, walked over, and grabbed Dan into a searing kiss.

"Morning Love, did you sleep well?".

"With you? Always," Dan said as he broke away to sit down at the table and inhale his coffee," so did you find anything on your fancy ghost catching cameras?".

"I was just about to look at the footage now," Lucifer said, booting up Dan's laptop.

Dan sat next to him as they watched the recordings from the previous night. Nothing happened for the most part, but in one particular room....

"Holy crap! Did that chair move by itself!"

"It did!" Lucifer said gleefully," Oh this is exciting love! Our first piece of recorded paranormal activity!".

Dan shook his head and laughed at his husband's childlike enthusiasm.

"So what's next on the agenda?" Dan asked.

"Well darling, I figured we could have some fun in the pool today and then tonight we'll host one of those evp sessions I've heard so much about ".

*****************

Later that night, they were getting ready to host an evp session in the room that had the most activity.

"So...uh....you're not going to ask the ghost what it desires, are you Luce?" Dan asked with an amused grin.

"Fraid not, Daniel, that question only works if the recipient happens to have real eyeballs".

"If they don't have eyes, why are you shirtless?" Dan mused.

"Well clearly if Mr. Bagans can attract ghosts with those lovely pectorals then my own perfection should work twice as well!".

Dan facepalmed.

They turned the recorders on, and naturally Lucifer wanted to ask the questions first.

"Helllo ectoplasmic miscreants!" He purred," we're attempting to make conversation with you!".

He got nothing but static.

"I was sure that would work".

"Just a thought, babe, but maybe they don't like being referred to as 'ectoplasmic miscreants'," Dan told him.

"Well, you try then, love, they'll like listening to you...I know I do".

Dan blushed furiously before speaking. "Okay....Uhm...if there's anyone here, we'd like to talk with you".

There was still only static at first....but then something broke through 

L.....uuuuu.......

Lucifer and Dan looked at each other with wide eyes before turning back to the recorder as the sound came through again.

L.....uuuuu.......

Suddenly a voice got right next to Lucifer's ear and whispered "Lu!" 

The devil gave an undignified shriek, wings flying out, before he leaped into Dan's arms and toppled them both into the floor.

"Ow....dammit Luce get off of me".

"Sorry love," Lucifer apologized. He got up and furled his wings, then pulled Dan to his feet.

There was a moan across the room, and they looked over to see another set of wings flapping desparately as their owner struggled to get up. 

The figure finally managed to stand up and furl their wings away, revealing an all too familiar figure.

"RAE-RAE?!".

"Hey guys", Azrael said sheepishly, " Geeze Lu, you reallyneed to watch the wings.....you scream like a girl by the way".

"Well it's not my fault if invisible sisters sneak up behind my back!" Lucifer huffed," and I do not scream like a girl!".

Dan wisely kept his mouth shut about the fact that his husband does, in fact, scream like a girl.

"What are you doing here, sister?".

"Can't I just drop by and see my favorite brother and brother-in-law?".

"No," Both men answered at once. 

Azrael sighed. "Fine, I might have overheard Ella mention the whole ghost hunting thing, and I was wondering......"

"Yes?" Lucifer asked impatiently 

"Iwantedtoghosthuntwithyou" she mumbled really fast.

Lucifer gave her an incredulous look."You're the Angel of Death! Picking up souls is literally your day job!".

"Yeah, but it's been so boring the last few decades. The souls that degrade are much more fun to hunt. Plus it's been ages since we did anything together.....pleaaase Lu?".

"Why not," Dan shrugged, " maybe we can actually catch this thing before you take more clothes off, Luce".

"Darling, I'm starting to think you have something against me being naked".

"Only that you are literally trying to take your clothes off, every single day" Dan retorted.

" Can't have you deprived of my naked splendor,my love, what kind of husband would that make me?".

Dan was really starting to see why Chloe rolls her eyes so much.

Before they could say anything else, the lights started flickering on and off. The temperature in the room started dropping dramatically, to the point Lucifer had to bring his wings back out to wrap around Dan so he wouldn't freeze.

"Oh man, I've never seen a soul do this before!" Azrael exclaimed.

"Exactly how long have these souls been waiting here to be picked up Rae-Rae?" Dan asked.

"I don't know, this part of the country was Gabriel's responsibility for the last couple centuries".

"Bloody Gabriel," Lucifer muttered.

They heard pounding from the floor above them and then the windows started shaking. 

"Is that really the best you've got?" Lucifer yelled. 

It was apparent he'd spoke to soon when the figure of a small girl in Victorian Era clothing appeared in the room. She let out a creepy giggle and directed her gaze towards Lucifer. 

The devil's eyes bugged out of his head, and he quickly hid behind Dan.

"Okay, that is where I draw the line. Azrael, get rid of that creepy ghost urchin before it hugs me!".

Azrael rolled her eyes and put her hand out towards the spirit, emitting a purple glow. The soul immediately condensed into a little ball of light and dissapeared into the angel's robes.

"Huh, was that the only one?" Dan asked as things started to calm down.

Before he could reply, Lucifer looked up and noticed that chandelier was swinging to the point it's tethers were about to snap....right above his husband.

"DANIEL! LOOK OUT!"

Lucifer pushed Dan out of the way just as the chandelier came down on top of him.

"Lucifer!" Dan scrambled over to where the fixture landed just as his devil was pushing it off himself. 

He grabbed Lucifer in a tight embrace before looking him over for any injuries. 

"Are you okay?!"

"Perfectly fine," Lucifer told him,"although when I said you light up my life I never thought it would be literally".

Dan just laughed and kissed him senseless.

***************

The rest of their honeymoon was rather tame. Azrael checked the house for the remaining spirits and cleared them out. Lucifer called in a favor to repair the chandelier before they left.

They relayed their adventures to the rest of the gang when they returned, and Maze could not stop laughing at Lucifer's reaction to the ghost kid.

"I bet you screamed like a girl!" She snorted.

"I don't have to take this kind of abuse," Lucifer pouted.

Dan sat down on the couch next to him and put his arm around his shoulders. "It's okay babe, I still love you......even if you do scream like a girl".

At his husband's murderous glare, Dan got up and ran to the bedroom, laughing as Lucifer chased after him. 

Later, as Dan slid inside him, Lucifer made screams of a different variety.

Life was good.


End file.
